A Birthmother’s Reflection: Connie

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I was forty-two years old when I found out I was pregnant. Divorced with four children, I was living paycheck to paycheck with my teenage daughter in a small two bedroom apartment. I had a low paying job and no health insurance.

When I took an at-home pregnancy test and it came out positive, I thought it had to be wrong. The next day I went to a clinic, and they confirmed that I was pregnant. I broke down and cried for hours. “Isn’t an unplanned pregnancy supposed to happen to teenagers?” I thought. “How could it happen to me?”

I don’t believe in abortion, but I knew in my heart that I couldn’t raise the child. So, I got out the Yellow Pages and looked up adoption agencies. I just happened to call Adoption Associates, and they were the first and only place I called.

At the first meeting, I was very nervous, but the agency made me feel comfortable and reassured me. My greatest fear was that no one would want the baby I was carrying because of my age. I feared the adoptive family would look at me and say, “Aren’t you a little too old for this to happen?” My fears didn’t come true, though. I had a good relationship with my caseworker. She called me often to see how I was doing and answered all my questions with respect and understanding. She never pressured me at all. I was amazed at the number of couples that were waiting for a baby, and I was able to choose one of them to adopt my child.

The couple that I chose, Matthew and Lisa, were around my age. I liked that they didn’t argue and always talked things through. They also said that they’d read to the child every night. When I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl on Christmas Eve, they were there at my side. I made sure my nurses knew that they were adopting “their little angel.” Matthew even cut the cord! We all cried and it was just beautiful!

I still receive pictures, letters, and phone calls from them. The pictures are very important to me. It’s so nice to open the mailbox and see that envelope! It makes a sad day into a bright day!
Today, I’m married to the man that stood by my side while being pregnant with another man’s child. I have no regrets and I KNOW I did the right thing. It gives me purpose in my life to know that I did something awesome for a great family.

It’s important to me to share my story with other women because an unplanned pregnancy could happen to anyone, regardless of age. If I could give any advice, it would be to PLEASE not jump to the conclusion that the only “way out” is to get an abortion. There is hope. Look at all your options. Look up an agency and talk to someone. Look at all the families that would welcome a baby into their home with all their heart. You may feel nine months is so long to carry a baby, but you will see the joy and love in a couple’s eyes and in their hearts. The main thing is to be positive throughout your pregnancy. Don’t be intimidated by the people that are negative and say, “How can you do that?” If more women realized how many families were waiting for a newborn, they would give more thought to what their options are.

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