Surviving The Waiting Process: Advice from Adoptive Parents

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No other journey in your life better warrants the phrase “hurry up and wait” than the adoption process does.  For most people, by the time you make the decision to adopt, you are way past wanting a child.  You have paid your “patience” dues.  You have made it through the flurry of home study meetings, gathering documents for your dossier and USCIS, getting them all notarized and apostilled, and finally sent on their way.  And after all of that, the most grueling part of the adoption process begins:  waiting!

Here is some advice from parents who have traveled the same road, felt the same anxiety and
frustration, and lived to tell about it:

  • Learn and experience your child’s country and culture ~ find a festival or event that highlights your child’s heritage.
  • Start a journal/letter to your child ~ share your hopes and dream for your future together.
  • Meet or connect with other waiting parents ~ someone who understands your feelings and concerns.
  • Attend parenting workshops and seminars.
  • Stay healthy ~ exercise, eat well, and rest.
  • Decorate your child’s room.
  • Finish those projects, books, etc. you have been putting off.
  • Prepare new dishes and experience the cuisine your child is experiencing ~ find a new restaurant or market.
  • Prepare and freeze meals for an easy dinner after you are home with your child.
  • Spend time with your spouse, friends, family.
  • Relax and enjoy today – it’s all we have control of.
  • Turn to your spiritual beliefs.
  • Be realistic.
  • Be flexible.

Just as every adoption journey is different and unique, so is every parent’s emotional and physical journey to meet their child.  Trust in the process and know in the end, all of the waiting and anxiety will be forgotten as you hold your precious child in your arms.

“Never think that God’s delays are God’s denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius.”

Georges-Louis Leclere De Buffon

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