Chosen by a Birth Mother

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The Exciting News!

When a birth mother working with Adoption Associates is shown profiles of Waiting Families, she will pick only one. Therefore, when you receive a call from an Adoption Associates caseworker you will know that you are her first choice. You have been chosen by a birth mother to be the parents of her baby!

After a birth mother has chosen you, a caseworker will contact you with general information about the birth parents. Sometimes this information is quite limited. But in most cases, she will have medical and background information about the birth mother. She will also include information about the flow of the adoption process from that point forward.

During this phone call, a meeting will usually be set up for you to meet the birth mother. Although rare, there are occasions when the birth mother does not want to meet the parents she has chosen. When meetings occur, the caseworker will be present to assure that there are proper introductions. She will also assure that the flow of conversation is appropriate. No identifying information will be shared.

Meeting a Birth Mother

We recommend that you dress casually and maintain a calm and gentle demeanor. It’s important to make the birth mother feel as comfortable as possible. The main focus of conversation is about the birth mother. It is okay to talk about your family, job, interests, etc. But, the birth mother should be the center of the discussion. She may talk about how feels physically and/or emotionally. She may talk about her prenatal care and whether there are any complications. It’s likely she will talk about her family and friends, as well as the birth father. She may share her interests or life goals. And, she may talk about her job or school situation.

One of the most important things for the birth mother to see is your excitement about the adoption and this baby. Equally important to show her is your support for her throughout a process that is likely very difficult. At the same time, proceed with caution with your own emotions as she hasn’t delivered yet, or been to court to release her parental rights.

It would be a good idea to bring some pictures of your house, family etc., along with you to the meeting. It may be of interest to the birth mother to see them, and they can also help with slow moving conversations.

Ongoing contact with the birth mother who has chosen you to be parents of her baby varies from case to case. The caseworker will help you and the birth mother decide what works best and is comfortable for all of you.

As delivery of the baby approaches, the caseworker will periodically give you updates on the birth mother and the adoption plan.

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