A Birthmother’s Reflection: Susan

At seventeen years old, I thought I owned the world. I was living each day as if nothing bad could ever happen and everything in my perfect bubble of a life would remain perfect. The first devastating blow came when my boyfriend of seven months passed away. I was so distraught that one month later I thought running into the arms of another man would fix everything. It didn’t, and the second blow hit when I found out that my haste had put me in an unfortunate position. I was pregnant.

I didn’t know what to do or how to react to my teenage pregnancy. My first (and thankfully unsuccessful) goal was to rid myself of my “problem” before my parents could find out. Luckily, my mother became suspicious and started asking me questions before I could do anything I knew I would regret. Nothing was easy at first. Tension blanketed my house and my whole life. My relationship with my parents was unsteady at best, and I wasn’t sure how I could a handle the responsibilities of an unplanned pregnancy and parenting when I clearly still needed to be parented myself.

The birth father had no intention of supporting our child once he found out I was unwilling to have an abortion. This led me to a major crossroads. I was not ready to parent, but I could not fathom another acceptable option. Not knowing what else to do or where to turn, I prayed.

The answer to my prayers came quickly as a sudden revelation. One day I was trying to reason with the birth father over the phone, when a thought occurred to me: maybe this wasn’t supposed to be MY baby. Maybe God was using me to provide a child to a family who could not otherwise have children. I almost immediately began looking into adoption.

My brother, a teacher, heard about Adoption Associates from a case aide that came to talk to his students. He got an information packet from her and presented it to me in the hopes that it would help. It did. I called the agency very soon after that and my adoption plan was put into motion.

Through the whole process, my AAI caseworker was there to answer any questions I had and provide positive support and guidance, but she was not my only guide. My family provided an immense amount of support and I continued to pray daily. The prayers paid off. God led me to the perfect adoptive parents to raise the baby that was growing inside of me. I was full of nervous and excited energy the day I met them. It was an instant match! Things could not have gone more smoothly. I talked to them on the phone and through e-mails. Soon they became another great support.

When it finally came time to deliver the little one, I called the adoptive parents and they tried their very best to get to the hospital in time. Due to some slight delays, they didn’t make it until the following day. I think it was a blessing in disguise. They still got to hear the birth over the phone, and I got a little extra alone time with my brand new baby boy. The hospital time went smoothly after that and we all enjoyed the new baby. Saying goodbye was difficult, but in my heart of hearts I know I did the right thing.

I feel compelled to share my story with other women who may be interested in choosing adoption because many people have misconceived notions about the adoption process. My desire is for people to realize that adoption is a decision based on hope and love. Birth mothers are just normal women who wanted to give another family a chance. I’m just a woman who loves my child enough to give him a better chance.

Right now I am living in an apartment with my best friend, going to college, and hoping to get a job in publishing when I graduate. My future seems much more open now. I wouldn’t have been able to so easily attend school and manage a schedule while struggling to raise a child. The pictures I receive assure me that he is happy, content, and well cared for. I couldn’t have asked for a better life for my child. Now both our futures are much brighter!

2017-06-12T17:41:56+00:00
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